(Said in my best announcer voice...) "Ladies and gentlemen, this is the final award of the night, the moment you have all been waiting for. The award for the husband of the year goes to....."
Nope. Not me. Not even close on that one this time I think. I am going to lay a little truth on you all, I hope you can handle it...
I am an asshole sometimes. A jackass. An unthinking, walking penis at times...and they sad part is I know it and don't know how to fix it.
Guys, you all have been there right? You know there are those days where no matter how much you think you are doing the right thing it always turns out to be the wrong thing. Is it just me or does it happen too often to the people you love the most as well?
There are days that it seems that I am the front runner (in my mind) for the award. Everything goes right and when I finally am able to sleep I am happy with the way the day has gone. Then there are days where I look at myself in the mirror and say "WTF did you do?" I often wonder if when I feel like I have one of those days if it really is happening or is it just me? Then I often don't sleep going over in my head what happened that either pissed me off, pissed off someone I love or made the day just seem to drag on and on like it would never end. Those are the nights where I think that I am acting like an ass because I am upset that I am the one that is home, the one taking care of the house, the laundry, the vacumming and all that. If the reason I acted like a jackass is because I resent the fact that I am not the one making the income and supporting my family like I want to be....
I digress, and by now you are more than likely bored with my line of questioning and not coming up with an answer. If you made it this far into the post I am greatly since it might just help me find the answers I am seeking...
Remember my fellow stay at home dads, this thing that we do...being the one home with the kids and taking care of our spouse or significant other is actually a blessing. We can learn to be a better man and not to only think with the wrong head. Who knows, maybe my little Q & A with myself can help you not be an ass today...God willing it will help me not to be one as well. Last but not least, baby if you read my blog I want to say I love you and I will try not to be an ass today!
Take care until next time!
BigDaddy
Staying at home is hard, whether Mom or Dad makes no difference. And it is very easy to go off the deep end and take it out on the people closest to you... I think mostly because sometimes it feels like these are the people holding you hostage (even though that obviously isn't the case). It is just hard. A part of you gets lost. It is good you have the Do Jang to escape to!... something in your life that reflects a part of just you.
ReplyDeleteWell said Amy, well said. Although the DoJang is a part of me, its a part of our family as a whole in my view. I feel it has brought us all a little closer together just by being there all the time together.
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